


Paper Stars

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Reaper76 [43]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Childhood Memories, Death, Friendship, Hope, M/M, Memories, Missions Gone Wrong, Origami, Paper stars, Past Relationship(s), Promises, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-01 03:06:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16276619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: 'Whenever a lucky star is made, a falling star is saved."Ten thousands stars, a past that can't be forgotten and the love for a fallen star. Hana and Jack grow closer over an old hobby, friendship blossoming among paper stars.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Velvetcat09: http://velvvetcat09.tumblr.com/post/159722224610/velvvetcat09making-paper-stars-is-fun-and and http://velvvetcat09.tumblr.com/post/159833048765/alittle-help
> 
> ‘The stars shine in the sky tonight Like a path beyond the grave When you wish upon that star There's two of us You need to save’ Eels (The Stars Shine in the Sky Tonight)

   It used to be easier to make the stars. Her hands had been steadier then, folding the paper with ease once she got into the rhythm, but now her fingers trembled despite her best attempts to stop them, her vision blurring with the tears that kept threatening to fall. The paper creased and then tore under her clumsy efforts, and she sniffled as she realised that she had ruined yet another one. In the past, she might have tossed it aside and abandoned her efforts, but not today, not after everything that had happened, and she found herself setting the star gently on top of a growing pile of rejects before numbly reaching for another sheet of paper. She tried not to look at the scrap of paper recording their…her…progress, half of the tally written in Jack’s messy chicken scratch, the other in her own scrawl, but it’s a futile effort and she can’t help but glance at it, heart falling as she realised how few she’s managed to finish since her last check. It reinforces her resolve to keep going, although it doesn’t stop the burning in her eyes or the tear that finally manages to escape, marring the blue paper clutched between her fingers.

_Jack…_

****

   Hana hummed under her breath, fingers moving with practiced ease as she folded the patterned paper, absently noting that her pile was going down and that she would need to buy some more soon. It had taken her a while to get back into the rhythm of it. Constant missions had meant that what little free time she did have was being used up trying to maintain her stream and playing games, but her mech was currently in for repairs and upgrades and Winston had decided that they could all use a couple of days of downtime. She hadn’t been about to complain, seizing the opportunity and tracking down the old box that held all the paper she had collected for origami, finally finding it shoved to the back under her bed, buried beneath an old hoodie and piles of games. Carrying that she scrounged an old jar from the canteen, waving of Lucio and Junkrat’s invitation to join them in playing games earning a startled look from the pair, before retreating to one of the little used rec rooms on the other side of the base and setting to work.

   The floor beneath her was littered with failures, ones where the paper had ripped, or the folds had been wonky, and she wrinkled her nose as she glanced down at them, she really was rusty. Still the jar now held a layer of paper stars in an array of colours and patterns and she smiled slightly at the sight, the activity as always interwoven with sadness as she remembered afternoons spent making these with her mother, the two of them filling jars with a mix of big and little stars ready to present to her father when he came home on leave. Now there was no one to present them to, but that didn’t stop her, the sadness dimming a little over the years and with the purpose she had found through fighting and her streams. It’s never completely faded though, lingering and making itself know as she stills for a moment, staring at the half-formed star in her hands.

“You look busy.” The sudden voice makes her squeak and for a moment she froze, mind darting to the fact that she’s unarmed and unprepared, before reality kicks in and she remembers that she’s safe in the Watchpoint. Colour seeping into her cheeks as she realises that she recognises the raspy voice as well, surprised that he would venture into this part of the base even as she tilts her head to glance at him, blinking when she realises that he’s abandoned his mask for once and struggling not to focus on the scars running the length of his face. It still takes her a moment to pull her gaze away. Biting her lip, she turned her attention back to the star in her hand, relieved that she hadn’t crushed it in her surprise, smoothing out the edge that she had managed to crease.

“Oh! Hi!” She greets him belatedly, feeling his gaze focused on her and biting the inside of her cheek when there’s no reply. Their relationship had improved considerably from when she’d first joined, back when he had misunderstood her attitude towards war and when she hadn’t known what to make of this man, who was both a hero and a ghost. It had taken time, but she had started to consider him a good friend, but there were moments like this when he still seemed so distant and she wondered if she even registered with him beyond being a teammate. However, when she risked another glance at him she realised that he was focused on her hands, blinking when she realises that she had automatically resumed folding the paper, stunned to see she’s not screwed it up in her distraction and turning her attention back to it she quickly finishes it before holding it out with a flourish. “I’m making paper stars.”

“Oh…neat.” It’s clear that he’s not quite sure what to make of it, or her enthusiasm and she fights back a giggle at how gingerly he takes the star when she holds it out to him. However, there is something strangely vulnerable about his expression as he stares down at it and after a moment she nudges him gently, having seen enough to know to be careful with physical contact, smiling when his gaze shifts to her.

“Wanna learn how to make one? It’s easy.”

“Oh, sure…” He looks so startled by the offer that her heart goes out to him. It might have taken them time to get to know one another but she had always watched him and seen how he kept himself distant from most people, occasionally drifting closer only to shy away again. At some point, it had just become accepted, and now that she thinks about it she can see that they’d stopped reaching out as much as they once had, and she frowns, making a note to mention it to the others at some point. Maybe Angela would be a good place to start? Ana would probably be better, but the sniper has scolded her on more than one occasion and to be honest Hana was a more than a little afraid of the older woman.

   It’s a thought for another time though as she waves him closer, watching as he gently deposits the star into the jar with the others, flashing back to the memory of her father tenderly doing the same whenever he found a rogue one abandoned on the floor or table. She immediately pushed the memory down. Neither of them need the past crowding in on them right now, and instead she reached out and snagged another piece of paper, a silvery one covered in stars that makes her think of Jack’s greying hair, a smile tugging at her lips at the thought before she holds it out so that he can see what she’s doing.

“Just fold it like this…”

“Uh.” She pauses at the confused noise, fingers lingering on the fold and glances up to find him squinting down at her before he sighs. “I think I might need my glasses for this.” She glances away, not wanting him to see the surprise and joy on her face. His failing eyesight was one of the worst kept secrets on the base, but no one ever dared mention it around him because his face would darken, memories that were best left at peace rising to the surface. However, this time he had been the one to broach the topic, tone even and calm, and it was in front of her of all people.

“I’ll wait for you.” It’s an easy promise to make, she has plenty of time, but he still looks surprised and somewhat hesitant as though he expects her to change her mind. Slowly and deliberately, she sets the paper down again and gives him a gentle push. “Go, I’ll be right here.” He’s studying her, eyes narrowed before he nods, a faint smile tugging at his lips before he obediently turns and disappears from the room.

**

   At the speed with which he’d returned he must have nearly sprinted across the base, his quarters the furthest ones away and she doesn’t miss the relief that flickers across his face when he reappears in the doorway to find her just where he’d left her. She doesn’t comment on it though, instead waving him over with a brief glance at the glasses now perched on his nose, wincing and biting back a comment on fashion sense. Maybe once he’s more comfortable around her she can deal with that, and she’s sure Lucio would be happy to help, but for now she tugs him closer when he falters. Waiting until he’s settled beside her before retrieving the paper and unfolding the little she had done, and slowly beginning again, her mother’s voice echoing in the back of her mind as she explains each step. Jack listens with the same gravity that he gives every briefing, but there is a softness to his expression that she hasn’t seen before and she can’t help but marvel at the sight. It makes him look younger, more human and she hopes that she’ll get more opportunities to see it.

   She makes half a dozen stars to show him what to do before he agrees to try for himself, accepting the paper with a murmured ‘thank you’ and staring at it for a moment like it’s a grenade that could explode at any point. She would laugh, but she has a feeling that there is more to it than concern about messing up and so she settles for watching him as he sets to work, interjecting now and then with a word of caution when she sees that he’s about to go horrifically wrong.

   It comes out wonky and creased in places where it shouldn’t be, but its unmistakably a star and Hana silently holds out the jar for him, tilting her head when he looks at her in surprise before he slowly adds it to the ones already gathered inside. “Do you want to make another one?” The tiny nod makes her smile and she hands him another piece of paper before claiming one for herself, and this time she lets him be, watching out of the corner of her eye even as she works on her own star.

   The second star comes out just as wonky, but it’s dutifully added to the jar at her pointed look and this time he doesn’t hesitate to take another piece paper, slightly more confident this time and they settle into an easy peace as they both work.

“Why stars?” Jack asks quietly nearly an hour later, glancing up from his latest star and Hana is impressed to see how much he’s improved by and growling a curse as she realises that she’s just folded her own wrong. She can see the apology on the tip of his tongue and hastily moves to cut it off, letting her star fall to the ground and picking another piece of paper, a metallic gold piece she had salvaged from Christmas, humming as she contemplated how to tell the story. It had been years since she’d heard it in full, her mother’s melodic voice washing over her as she fought the pull of sleep and she closed her eyes, for once not pushing the memory away but embracing it.

“A long time ago there was a young girl, Hoshi who loved the stars in the night sky…” The words came easier than she’d thought they would, the years seeming to melt away from her and it doesn’t matter that she’s the one telling the story, or that the man who’s listening to it is old enough to be her father. His eyes are closed when she glances across at him, and she knows what lies behind the sorrow that crosses his face when she speaks about the falling stars, catches the way his finger briefly move to the ring he wears that they all know better than to ask about. She doesn’t stop though, because there is something beyond the grief and so she glances away, feeling as though she is invading on something intensely private, her voice steady despite the way her emotions are churning. “When she saw that the lost stars had returned to the sky, brightening the night once more she declared ‘whenever a lucky star is made, a falling star is saved.’”

   There’s a choked noise from beside her, but by the time she has turned back to Jack is expression is schooled to one of calmness, although its undermined by the sadness in his eyes as he stares down at the fragile star he had just finished. “Jack?”

“It’s nothing.” He looks startled by his own words, sighing and hunching in on himself. “Thank you for telling me the story.”

“You’re welcome?” She can’t help the questioning tone, wondering if it had been a mistake to share the story because there is a distant look in his eyes and a slight tremor in his hands when he drops his latest creation into the jar. He smiles, soft and sad, his eyes still dull and her heart aches because not long before he had looked if not happy, then almost at peace? And now that had disappeared, and she jumped when his hand landed on her head, blinking when he ruffled her hair briefly, smile warming for a moment before he pulled away.

“Thank you.” Again, she gets the feeling that there’s more to it, but she isn’t given a chance to ask, not that she would know how to even go about it as Jack rises and heads for the door. It’s clear from the set of his shoulders that he wants to be alone now, but she can’t let it end like this, fingers curling around her own half-finished star and in the most cheerful voice she can muster she calls after him.

“Come make them with me again.”

“Maybe…”

****

   It’s days before she saw him again. He’d been called out on an emergency mission, their rest days not holding sway against the rest of the world and they’d just received word that his team was returning, when she had been sent out to retrieve a weapons shipment with another team. Before leaving she made another star, this one blue and red, smiling as she thought about the battered leather jacket he insisted on wearing as she tied it carefully to the handle of his door.

   When she came home four days later it’s to find a string of stars attached to the door handle of her room, a smile tugging at her lips when she realises they’re just as wonky as those first ones before rolling her eyes when she looks closer and realises they’re made from mission reports. Winston isn’t going to like that. Still she’s careful when she unties them and carries them inside, adding to them to the slowly filling jar on her desk. She just stands there for a few minutes, staring at the simple black and white stars before turning decisively on her heals and heading for Lucio’s room, she needs more paper and he always seems to know where to buy the best stuff, and she has a feeling that she will need more than expected, a thought that brings a smile to her lips.

**

   It’s a premonition that proves true, and she happily leaves a box of paper outside Jack’s door one day, startled to find a game she had been planning to buy when she next got time to go into town hanging from her door a couple of days later. He denies it vehemently when she approaches him and in the end she lets it go, realising that he’s embarrassed, and instead she repays him with more paper and bigger, flashier stars. At first, she wonders if he even kept them, before she overhears a whispered conversation between Ana and Angela, the former one of the few that Jack will ever let into the sanctuary of his room, the two women puzzled by his sudden obsession with stars. She doesn’t say anything, just smiles and goes back to back to her room and make some more. They continue exchanging stars when they don’t see each other and every now and then he will join her in the evenings or on rare days off, never speaking much, but settling down beside her with his own pile of paper and setting to work, that same distant expression haunting his features.

   He’s improving, but there are some nights when she watches him struggling to move stiff fingers with the precision needed, catches the sharp intakes of breath that indicates that it hurts as well. On those nights, she tries to distract him, sharing tales of home, of her childhood and later her training. She babbles about her gaming and her stream, even shows him how it works, relieved when he either pauses for the night or the signs of discomfort fade as he focuses on her words.

   It’s longer still before he begins to return the favour. It had been late one night when she had been driven from her bed by a nightmare, one too vivid to just forget and she had found herself in the common room, curled on the sofa and making stars as she watched an old western on the screen. She hadn’t been there long when she heard him, already guessing who it was from the hesitance in his steps, his eyesight worse at night and she paused, greeting him with a strained smile when he stepped into the room and came up short at the sight of her. He didn’t ask, but there was something in his expression and the brief touch to her shoulder as he settled beside on the sofa that told her that he understood and silently she handed him some paper, realising that he was empty handed. He accepted it, setting to work even though he had forgotten his glasses and she mimicked him, startled when after a few minutes of silence, he began to speak, voice faint and halting as though he had forgotten how to talk just for fun.

   That night is the first time she gets an inkling of just how deep his pain runs. They all knew he had a past with Reaper, with Gabriel Reyes - the mercenary’s identity having been revealed months before, but the older agents had refused to say anything, and Jack had always been silent on the matter. Now though he spoke in halting words about the man who had been his best friend, someone who had survived and fought beside him - her mind flashing briefly to her first team, lost in action - to the man he had loved, and now as she watches him caress the newest star with trembling fingers she understands why he had looked so sad when she had told him the story about the origin of the lucky stars.

“You know…” She hesitates for a moment, not sure if it’s her place to tell him this or not, because as close as she likes to think they’ve become there is still a distance between them. But Jack’s head is tilted towards her, even as his gaze remains fixated on the star he’s holding. “Different numbers of stars mean different things, if you wanted to send him a message.”

“That’s not possible.”

“But…”

“Leave it.” There is a finality to his words this time, a tone that they’d all learned meant they needed to leave him alone. Yet she hesitates, because that’s something they’ve done that too many times in the past, and with a sigh she pushed herself up off the sofa, turning to look at him as she holds out her own handful of finished stars, waiting for him to take them with a confused frown.

“It’s never too late,” she says softly, meeting his gaze evenly. “Even when people are gone they can still hear our messages.” Her thoughts are on the stars she has made for her parents, the nights she has spent staring up at the sky and telling them about her life now…she knew they heard her, and Reaper for all that he was their enemy was still around to hear Jack’s message. She doesn’t give Jack a chance to reply, offering him a fleeting smile before leaving the room, not sure if she is ready to sleep just yet, but knowing that he needs the time to think things over.

****

    It’s nearly a month before she sees him again. She knew that he’d been busy with missions, they all had, but there had been times when they had encountered one another on the base and he had practically turned tail and run at the sight of her. The gifts of stars had stopped, although she found herself unable to stop leaving fresh sheets of paper at his door, hoping that it would encourage him to continue. If she was honest though the renewed distance hurt. They were very different, but she had come to enjoy his company, the dry sense of humour that would occasionally shine through, the experience that he would share, the tips that had seen her shooting improve. And whilst she wasn’t sure that she was returning the favour, he had seemed to relax when she talked about her own interests and experiences, she’d even managed to coax him into a fleeting, cameo appearance on a stream one night.

   That’s why the quiet knock on her door that night startles her, there’s only one person who knocks like that, the rest tend to try and break down her door - Lucio had even managed it one day. She hesitates for a moment, staring at the door before pausing her game, relieved that she wasn’t streaming for once, glancing at the jar of stars which hasn’t grown at all in the last month before slowly rising and heading for the door.

   Jack is stood there, all the paper she had given him clenched in his hands, his eyes on the floor until she coughs impatiently, and his gaze slowly rose to meet hers. There’s grief there. Pain. The emotions more visible than they’ve been before, but there’s also resolve, a determination that had been lacking previously and she’s smiling even before he asks.

“Hana…” He falters, the years of dealing with everything alone stalling him, but she waits patiently and after a moment he gathers himself. “Do you think I can make ten thousand stars?” She wants to snort at the question, of course he would go for the most difficult amount, but maybe that’s for the best. It will take time, and it will give him something to work towards, to hope for…and with that thought comes her own resolve.

“Not if you’re doing it alone!” She chides him, voice warm to take the sting out of her words as she steps back and waves for him to enter. “I’ll help!!” This time she is rewarded with a warm smile, one that fully reaches his eyes and for a moment she is reminded of the posters she had seen of him back when he had been Strike Commander and she offers her own prayer that his message will be heard so that this smile doesn’t fade again. “Thank you, Hana.”

****

   Jack doesn’t try to avoid her after that. Instead they spend most of their free time huddled in a corner somewhere and making stars. It doesn’t go unnoticed by the others, greeted with a mixture of confusion, curiosity and a pleased expression from the older agents and Hana is privately pleased when Jack refuses all other offers of help. Although she has a feeling that he’s noticed her feelings, chuckling softly before promptly cursing as he screws up the star he is working on. He’s constantly improving, but stiff fingers and poor eyesight slow him down and its slow going, with missions and injuries getting in the way, days passing as the jar they’ve found for him slowly begins to fill.

   He never talks about what he’s trying to achieve with these stars, but she does hear more tales about Gabriel and the old Overwatch, filing the information away, giving him more tales of her own in exchange. On some nights, she drags him away from the stars, making him play games with her or just watch movies, trying to make him relax a little and its more than worth it when she sees him laughing with the others a couple of weeks later, feeling a little smug in the face of their surprise. But no matter what else he does, he always gravitates back towards the stars and her company, the jar slowly filling under their combined efforts until they need to steal a second and then a third.

Then it had all gone wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

It started with a mission.

   Hana hadn’t been on this one, but as was often the case nowadays she had found herself sitting with Winston as he monitored the feeds coming from the away team. Her hands were occupied with making more stars - some for the jars and some to hang of Jack’s door for when he came back, but her gaze was squarely on the screen. Talon and their associates had started intensifying their efforts to bring the new Overwatch to its knees, something that was being made worse by the fact that they were still being forced to operate outside the law despite Winston’s attempts to repeal the Petras Act, and then there was Reaper. Perhaps it was because she now knew who he was, and what he meant to Jack that she was more aware of him, but suddenly he seemed to be everywhere at once, targeting them with greater aggression that before even if it meant that Talon lost ground or surrendered a valuable payload.

   Maybe that was why she had spotted him first, catching the swirl of something darker just behind where the team were securing the payload, a half-finished star falling from her fingers as she lunged towards the mic, not caring that Winston was there or that she wasn’t even supposed to be assisting with the mission.

“Jack! Behind you!” She forgot all about calling him Solider 76 like he had asked her to when they were in the field, unable to focus on anything but the sight of Reaper’s form materialising behind him and the terrifying sight of those twin shotguns coming to bear on his back. There was a rushing sound in her ears, and she didn’t hear his reply, but she did see him turn and caught the slight hesitation before he started firing at Reaper. Her heart was in her throat as he charged forward, laying down covering fire to force the mercenary away from the rest of the team. She didn’t resist when Winston nudged her out of the way so that he could take over, although there was a protest on the tip of her tongue at his next words. “Get the payload moving! Soldier 76 keep Reaper occupied.”

   She wanted to protest. Wanted to point out how much it had to be hurting Jack to keep fighting the only person he had ever truly loved, but the words wouldn’t come, because she could see from Winston’s expression that he knew what he was asking of Jack. _A good soldier_ … She remembered once asking Jack why he had joined the military, why he had gone through SEP and kept fighting even after everything that had started going wrong. She had been expecting some grand reason, some deep purpose. Instead, she had watched as Jack had visibly faltered for a few minutes, frowning as he considered his answers, and then he had replied, carefully avoiding her gaze, telling her that he had stayed because it was all that he was. He was a soldier. That was the one thing he had always been good at, the only thing he really knew after so long fighting and so he had stayed and tried to be a good soldier, and she could hear the echo of those same words in his terse reply to the command.

_“Understood.”_

   She had left Winston to monitor Lucio and the others as they got the payload moving, commandeering another screen so that she could watch Jack as best she could, not an easy task with the limited camera access they had in the area. Still, it was enough for her to follow the trail of gunfire and explosions, enough to give her a brief glimpse of Jack as he chased Reaper further and further from the payload - and then she lost sight of him, her heart pounding as she frantically cycled through the cameras they had access to, searching desperately for some sign of them. She knew that Jack could hold his own, had seen him shake off injuries that would have put most of them in the infirmary for a week or more, but this was Reaper. No, this was Gabriel and…

 _“Hana…are you there?”_ Her frantic thoughts skidded to a halt at the familiar raspy voice coming over the communicator, lunging for the mic, barely aware of the pause behind her as Winston realised what was happening.

“I’m here!” There was no reply for a moment, then the communicator crackled loudly, and she flinched as she heard the sharp retort of shotguns followed by a dull thud and a pained groan that she knew didn’t come from Reaper. “Jack?!” She wasn’t aware of leaping to her feet, her knuckles turning white as she pressed the headpiece closer to her ear as though that would make a difference, heart in her mouth as all she heard was ragged breathing in reply. “Jack! ANSWER ME!” It was a tone that she would never normally take with him, but right now with a crumpled paper star in her hand and his ragged breathing in her ear, she wasn’t about to take it back, and a few minutes later she was rewarded with a rough chuckle that descended into a hacking bout of coughing.

 _“Hana, I…”_ He started before static interrupted him and she held her breath as she heard another burst of gunfire, Jack’s breathing sounding more laboured than before _. “or…stars…”_

“Jack you’re breaking up!”

 _“…rry.”_ That sounded worryingly close to an apology, and she opened her mouth to scold him and demand his location, when her ear was filled with the sound of glass shattering before the call cut out, beeping loudly in her ear.

“JACK! JACK!” She knew that she wasn’t going to get an answer, and yet she couldn’t stop calling to him even as she heard Winston telling the others that Soldier 76 was down, eyes burning as she stared at the screen.

_Jack…_

****

   Hana had been waiting outside the infirmary when the team had arrived back, in fact, she had been sat there from the moment that Lena had radioed in to say that they had him but that he was badly hurt, numbly making paper stars and praying that he would be okay. It was a wish that she was terrified wouldn’t be fulfilled, and the brief glance she caught of Jack as he was carried past did little to reassure her, his clothes tattered and torn, and what skin she could see was bloodied. However, what was worse had been the stillness, because he was never that still, especially when people were trying to take him to the infirmary. His fights with Angela had become legend amongst the younger members of the team who were reluctant to try and stand against her after hearing what she could do when riled.

   That had been nearly two hours ago, and there was an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach as she glanced up at the infirmary door. _Jack…_ She didn’t dare go in. Worried that she would be forbidden from seeing him if he was okay, and terrified that she would find out that he was gone. So, she stayed where she was, her stars becoming increasingly misshapen as she tried to fold them with trembling hands until eventually she tossed them aside.

   It was nearly an hour later when there was finally movement, and Hana immediately paused in her pacing as the door opened to reveal a stressed looking Angela, her usual neat appearance ruffled, and the white coat speckled with blood and it took Hana a moment to get her voice to work.

“How is he?” It came out much louder than she had intended, and normally the look that Angela was giving her would have had her turning tail and bolting from the infirmary, but today she straightened with a muttered apology. “Please, is he…?” She didn’t dare finish the question, and Angela’s expression softened as she stepped back to hold the door open, and Hana didn’t need any more of an invitation, lunging forwards, only to find herself coming to an abrupt halt as she spied the only occupied bed in the infirmary, mouth dry as she stared at the still form. “Jack.”

“He will recover with time.” She was barely aware of Angela’s words, her gaze roving over Jack, lingering on the bandages wrapped around Jack’s torso and the heavy bruising covering large swathes of skin, made all the more vivid by the soft glow of the biotic emitter set up over his bed. It wasn’t the first time he had been injured or even the worst injuries she’d seen him suffer, and she still woke from nightmares of that mission which had seen the team having to dig him and McCree out a collapsed warehouse as it had reminded her too vividly of how she had lost her first team. However, there had been something in his voice when he had called out to her over the communicator, and the broken whisper of an apology before the call had cut off that left her feeling as though this was something different. Something worse. Finally, Angela’s words registered, and she reluctantly managed to tear her gaze away from him.

“I thought he healed quickly?”

“He does,” Angela reassured her quickly, too quickly, and Hana frowned as the healer sighed and fidgeted with her sleeve, a gesture they had all learnt meant that she was more worried than she was letting on. “It’s just…”

“Please, tell me.” She wasn’t sure if she had the right to ask. They were close, in fact, even Ana had commented that she hadn’t seen Jack take to someone as he had to Hana for a long time. At first, Hana had thought it was a criticism, aware of how close they had been in the past, but the sniper had pulled her aside one day and asked or rather pleaded with her not to let him push her away. It had been an easy promise to make, the stars weighing on her mind although she had refused to answer any questions about why they were making so many, and it was that promise that had her lifting her head and meeting Angela’s gaze. “I want to know.”

  Angela hesitated for a moment, glancing between her and Jack before her shoulders slumped in defeat and she nodded. “He doesn’t heal as fast as he used to.” Hana opened her mouth to protest, knowing a little about the enhancements that had been done to him and remembering all the times he had bounced back from injuries, but she found herself hesitating, remembering how she had caught him favouring his side after breaking ribs, and that had been after Angela had treated him, and long after he would normally have healed by. Angela smiled sadly as she caught the growing comprehension, eyes distant as her gaze shifted back to Jack. “The enhancements can only do so much, and age isn’t something they were designed to fight against.”

“Oh…” Hana knew on some level that Jack was old, but it seemed impossible to think that when he sat there late at night and played games with her when neither of them could sleep, or when he would sit for hours and make paper stars with her whilst listening to her ramble about her streams and some of the crazy antics her fans had got up to. And if she was honest with herself, she didn’t want to think about that, and she didn’t want to think about his enhancements failing, about him failing and she swallowed thickly, her voice wavering slightly. “But, he will be okay this time?”

“Yes,” Angela replied, and this time her hand remained away from her sleeve, her smile slightly warmer as she added. “You can sit with him for a while if you want, although I don’t think he’ll be awake until tomorrow at the earliest.”

“I’m staying.”

**

    There had been a time when silence had been more common than a conversation between them, but it had never been like this silence, and Hana found herself babbling, needing something to break up the quiet, although she found herself pausing at times just to listen to his ragged breathing. He was still here. It didn’t feel like it as time trickled by, marked by the steadily growing pile of stars on his bedside table, Angela had shot her a disapproving look when she had come to check on Jack, but she hadn’t said anything, and Hana had no intention of stopping even when her eyes started to burn with weariness. She refused to even leave for food, and in the end, Lucio had brought her something, stopping to play some soothing music whilst she ate and whilst she had appreciated the company she hadn’t been able to talk to him and had been relieved when he had left again and left just the two of them.

   She dozed at times, waking in a panic when someone draped a blanket over her and nearly catching Angela when she lashed out sensing a threat. Thankfully the older woman was used to far more cantankerous patients and accepted her stammered apology with good grace before trying to convince her to go back and sleep in her own bed, Hana had refused, and thankfully Angela had let it go, reassuring her that Jack was doing better before leaving her to doze off again.

   The next time she woke it was to the sound of a pained groan, the noise taking a moment to work through her sleep-hazed mind and it was only when it morphed into a vehement curse that she realised who it was, nearly falling out of the chair as she bolted upright, blanket falling to the floor.

“Jack!” She caught the sharp intake of breath and realised that in the poor light of the infirmary he would barely be able to see her and that she must have startled him. “Jack it’s me. Athena lights to fifty percent, and can you tell Angela that he’s awake?” She didn’t want to blind him, and even when Athena gently increased the light, she saw him flinch and blink heavily, struggling to focus on her before he scowled as her words registered.

“I don’t need Angela.” He sounded so much like himself that she wanted to cry, but she blinked the tears away and scowled back at him, knowing that if she showed any weakness at all, he would be up and out of the bed even if it killed him.

“Look in the mirror and try telling me that.”

“Hana…”

“You scared me.” She hadn’t meant for the words to slip out, and they both froze, staring at one another, and she could feel her cheeks beginning to burn as he blinked up at her in confusion. But the stubbornness was fading from his expression, and she latched onto that, needing him to heal. Needing him to be okay, the blush forgotten as she reached out and tentatively took his hand, half expecting him to jerk away from her touch. “I thought you were dead.”

“So, did I,” Jack mumbled, letting her hold his hand although his gaze was fixed on anything but her and there was an odd note in his voice that worried her. It wasn’t the first time she would have heard him saying that it would be better if he was dead, and she was already opening her mouth to argue when he had continued, squinting up at her. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I shouldn’t have called you…”

“I was already watching.” There was no way she was going to let him get away with that, she would rather know that something was wrong than be sat at home thinking everything was okay, and she stepped closer until she was pressed against the side of the bed. She knew that she should be asking how he was, seeing the lines of pain that he wasn’t quite able to mask, but the broken words over the communicator were replaying through her mind and she had to know. “Jack? What were you trying to tell me?”

   Jack was silent for a long moment, and she thought that he wasn’t going to answer or try to tell her that he didn’t remember, instead she was startled when he began to chuckle. It was a horrible, brittle sound, his expression telling her that it was anything but happy and she squeezed his hand in an attempt to make him stop. “Jack.”

“It doesn’t matter now.” The terrible laughter stopped, and he blinked up at her, weary and fragile in a way that frightened her and the protest that had sprung up at his words died on her tongue. Suddenly her conversation with Angela seemed much too close for comfort as she studied him, and she was about to pull back, to let the healer come and check him and hope that once he was rested that he would seem more like himself. However, his fingers tightened around hers, a tentative grip that was nothing like the one she knew he usually had on his weapon and she froze, staring at him. “Hana don’t let your feelings get in the way.” There was a desperation to the plea that made her swallow, especially when she thought back to the panic she had felt whilst watching him fight - the terror when the call had cut out. And she didn’t understand what had brought this on, he had always cautioned them about staying focused when they were on a mission, but this seemed like something more.

“Jack? What do you mean?”

“I chased him,” Jack’s voice was soft, his gaze distant once more and this time she knew exactly who he was seeing, because there was pain in his expression that only appeared when he was talking about Gabriel, about their past. “And for a moment I let myself forget about the job, about the team, and about who he really was. Just for a moment, and it nearly killed me.” _He nearly killed me_ , she could fill in the silence, heart racing at the confirmation of just how close it had been and not for the first time she felt a wave of loathing for Reaper. There had been times, seeing the pain in Jack’s face and hearing the waver in his voice that she had longed to ask him why he was still trying to reach out to him. Wanting to know what Reaper had done to deserve the love that was being poured into the stars they made, but she had never dared voice the words, but now she could feel them rising again, especially when he made that terrible chuckle again, his hand tightening on hers. “Don’t make my mistakes.”

   She could hear the door opening behind them, suddenly remembering that she had asked Athena to fetch Angela and she wanted to curse. There was more to his words, but she didn’t dare ask now that they weren’t alone and yet he was still looking at her with desperation in his eyes and hearing Angela hurrying towards them she sighed and closed her eyes.

“I won’t.”

****

   Things hadn’t been the same after that. Jack had slowly healed, and after a rather loud argument with Angela who had been trying to get him to slow down a little he had started going on missions again, and when he was in the field he seemed normal again. It was when they were at home that Hana discovered that he had retreated again, and even though he would still seek her out to make stars in the evening and in the increasingly rare breaks between missions, the stories that he had taken to telling her became less frequent and she found herself filling the silences, searching for everything and anything to draw him into conversation. It was a victory now if she could draw more than a word at a time out of him, and she rarely saw him around the others now, and she didn’t know what to do apart from stay by his side and keep her promise to help him with the stars.

   It was worse during missions, or in the aftermath as Talon continued to focus their attention on them, and she could see each failure and setback weighing him down. Worse still was when someone came back injured, especially if Reaper was involved and she would see his expression darken, and on those nights his efforts to make the stars would falter, his eyes fixed on some distant point that only he could see, the paper lying unfolded in his lap. Those nights scared her the most because on those nights he seemed further away than ever, and she doubted that her words even reached him and all she could do was sit there and watch him slip a little further away.

**

   Then she had been injured, not by Reaper although she had glimpsed him in the periphery of her vision during the fight but caught in the backlash of an explosion which had sent her and her mech careening off a roof. With a damaged thruster, she had been unable to stop herself from falling, and whilst the mech had protected her from the worst of it, she had wound up being bounced around and had ended up striking her head off the dash. The resulting gash had bled a lot, and she’d ended up with a minor concussion, which had meant a couple of nights in the infirmary, even though Angela had healed the worst of the damage right there in the field, and through it, all Jack had been there at her side, silent, brow furrowed, and hands clenched in his lap.

   She had been waiting for him to lecture her, aware that she should have been paying more attention and that she had been incredibly lucky. Instead, the silence had lasted until late evening when he had suddenly moved, leaning forward and reaching out as though to take her hand, although he had aborted the movement before he grasped her hand.

“Hana…”

“Jack?” _Here it comes._ She was bracing herself for the lecture to come, having been on the receiving end of more than one of his lectures when she had first joined and aware that he wasn’t one for holding back. Which was why she was confused when he continued to stare at her, seemingly weighing his words and in the end, she found herself prompting him to continue, wanting to get it over with. “What is it?”

“You said something when you were hurt that we need to talk about…” Hana blinked at that, taken aback by the almost soft tone and she couldn’t stop herself from staring at him suspiciously.

“You’re not going to lecture me about what happened?”

“Not today.” There was a wry twist of his lips at that, and for a moment she caught a glimpse of the man who had played games with her, who had been opening up before things had started going wrong. “You know what you did wrong, and you’re not one to make the same mistake twice.” It wasn’t quite praise, and she was fully aware that she had screwed up, but the amount of faith in his words brought a brief smile to her face, although it faded the moment he continued. “But…”

“But?” She echoed when he didn’t continue straight away.

“When you were hurt, you were talking about the stars,” Jack murmured, glancing down and she followed his gaze, startled to realise that he had been working on them whilst sat there and making a worried noise when she saw his fingers curling around the finished one he was holding, not wanting to see it destroyed. His hands paused at the sound, but his expression when he refocused on her was worryingly grave. “You were bleeding and concussed and surrounded by enemies, and all you could talk about was the stars.”

“I did?”

“Yes, which is why…” He reached out again, and this time she moved to meet him, startled when he dropped the star he had been holding into her hand before gently folding her fingers over it. “Hana, if I die before these are done - just throw them away.” Hana shook her head, pulling the star against her chest unable to believe that he would be willing to throw all of that away. All those hours, all those memories shared…

“But…”

“Please.”

“I…” _I can’t,_ was what she wanted to say, but there was another thought bubbling up now, as the rest of his words hit her. “You’re not going to die.” She fell silent as soon as the words left her lips, ducking her head as she felt herself flushing, knowing how foolish those words had been and how naïve. Yet at the same time it was inconceivable to her that Jack could die. Tucked away in a box of keepsakes beneath her bed was a series of old Overwatch posters, back from the golden era and there in the middle was always Jack, tall and indomitable, and the man in front of her, no matter how changed he was, still carried that same air. _Jack, you can’t die…_

“Everyone dies Hana,” Jack’s voice was soft, almost painfully gentle, which made the pained expression on his face all the harder to bear when she looked up at him again. “Especially ghosts who have used up more than their share of luck.” She could hear Reaper’s voice behind those words, remembering the times they had heard him telling Jack that he should have died in Zurich and she reached out to grasp his arm, wanting to tell him that no one else thought that, and that he shouldn’t think about it.

“Jack…”

“It’s okay Hana.” There was a smile on his face now, one that barely touched his eyes and it was painful to see, and even more painful to hear the certainty in his next words. “One day you will understand.”

_I don’t want to understand…_

****

It ended with a mission.

   They’d been called out again, two teams this time as Talon had taken to striking multiple targets to spread them out and make them easier to target. It was all hands-on deck, as the payload contained some valuable technology that was coming worryingly close to a controllable replica of the God Program, something that had made the older members of the team tense and more close-lipped than ever. Hana hadn’t been able to take her eyes off Jack after that announcement, catching the way he fiddled unnecessarily with his mask and visor, fingers lingering on his weapon during the flight. Amongst all the stories that he had shared with her, there had been very few about the Omnic Crisis and what little she knew had come from school and rooting through old records, but it was enough for her to leave the issue alone, although she couldn’t stop her gaze from lingering on him or the concern that rose when she saw him murmuring to an equally anxious looking Ana.

   The flight seemed longer than normal, the tension palpable in the air and even McCree and Genji had been quiet when the two teams parted way and Hana couldn’t shake the sliver of unease that had set in ever since Winston had told them what was happening. The only bright spot that she could see at the moment was that she was on Jack’s team, their conversations over the last few months weighing on her mind as they did whenever they were on a mission these days, and from the pointed looks that Ana and Angela had given her as they moved off the allocation had been deliberate, and she wondered just how much they knew about the conversations she and Jack had shared.

   Shaking off that thought she followed Winston and the others as they moved through the maze of warehouses, biting the inside of her cheek to stop herself from protesting when partway there she saw Jack melting away into the shadows, knowing that he was moving to cover their flank. It was an essential role, and she knew that he could more than handle himself, but she also knew that he was still nursing some injuries from a mission the previous week and then there was the near certainty that Reaper would be present for a payload this important. Still, she knew better than to question him out on the field, knew that the lines that had blurred back at base were still there out here and so she waved when she saw him glance back, the red visor cutting through the darkness.

_Be careful…_

**

    They had managed to seize the payload with remarkably little difficultly, which probably should have been the first clue that things would go awry, but instead, Hana had started to think longingly of a quick end to this mission. Dreaming about getting home to sleep in her own bed, playing games and maybe even holding another stream especially if she could get Jack to cameo again, and making more stars. Her daydreams had been brought to an abrupt end by the sound of Jack cursing quietly over the communicator, automatically bringing up her barrier to protect the payload even as she began to scan the area for the new threat, hands tensing on the controls as she heard Ana and Winston demanding a status update from him only to be answered with silence.

   It didn’t take long to find the threat, the silence that had engulfed them as they waited for a reply broken by the sound of gunfire and it wasn’t long before they spotted the distinctive jacket and glow of the tactical visor. Jack was retreating towards then, pulse rifle alive in his hands and her gaze immediately focused on the dark figure that was following him. The figure that was far too close to him for comfort. _Reaper_. She’d immediately swung her own weapons towards him, ready to fire, but she found herself waiting as she realised that Jack had faltered, and it took her a moment to realise that they were exchanging words, cursing the fact that she was too far away to hear what was being said. Not that she really needed to, the sight of Jack’s body language shifting, the man who had spent so many long hours making stars with her disappearing behind the stiff exterior he had maintained for so long. However, it was the soft whisper of ‘Gabriel’ that she knew no one was supposed to have heard that made her snap, hands darting down to the thruster controls before she knew what she was doing.

   She should have known better. She did know better and yet she rushed in, wanting nothing more than to protect the man that she now fiercely considered part-friend and part-father figure, confident in her own abilities and infuriated by the taunts that she could now hear being unleashed against Jack. This close she couldn’t miss them or the way that Jack flinched with each word, the distance he always tried to maintain when telling her stories about the man Gabriel Reyes had been stripped away by the situation and the stress of the last few weeks, Reaper’s words carrying more weight than they normally would. It was that, and the memory of the jars of stars waiting to be finished at home - the message that Jack had been working so hard on, all for this man who seemed set on nothing more than tearing him apart which had her charging, using her mech to bodily force Reaper away from Jack.

“HANA!” She was barely aware of Jack’s voice raised in alarm, although there was a fleeting warmth as she realised that was the first time he had called her by name when they were in the field. She could still hear him shouting, but the words were lost in the roar of her thrusters and the sudden rain of bullets that hit her side.

   It was a trap. She had found herself out in the open and caught in the crossfire of a much larger Talon force than they had been expecting, their information was always shaky at best these days especially with Sombra in the field…but this…she didn’t have time to dwell on it as she swerved to the side, wincing at the sound of bullets striking her mech and once again glad for its protection. Then Reaper was there, his attention riveted on her through the eerie mask and she couldn’t help but wonder what he saw when he looked at his old friends - when he looked at Jack. But she didn’t have long to dwell on it because his shotguns were blasting away, her own return fire nullified as he slipped in and out of the shadows whilst drawing closer with each step, the impacts from his shots shaking the mech and it wasn’t long before she was forced to abandon it, the brief explosion as she ejected forcing the mercenary back for a split second.

   At once she was rolling to the side to avoid Reaper’s guns as he recovered just as quickly, the few lessons that Jack had insisted on drilling into her head echoing through her mind as she scrambled back and sprang back to her feet, already returning fire even as she backed away. Dimly she realised that the others were already fighting to get to her, Lucio’s music just reaching her and easing the ache that came from hitting the ground hard. Her ears focusing on the familiar sound of Jack’s gun and instinctively moving towards the sound, not daring to look at him, worried about the disappointment he would no doubt level at her, and her fingers tightened on her weapon. _She knew better than to rush in alone, but he had been hurting._

  _Don’t let your feelings get in the way,_ he had warned her about that the night they had spent in the infirmary, and she winced at the memory of how serious he had been, and how broken he had sounded when he had laughed afterwards, the harsh, bitter noise that had set her nerves on edge. And she could recall how the star he had been making had fallen from his hands, crumpled beyond repair when he had clenched them into fists before adding softly. _Don’t make my mistakes…_

_I’m sorry Jack._

   She had almost made it back to them, she could see the blue of Winston’s barrier out of the corner of her eye, and she sped up. She just needed a little longer before her mech would be ready again. She didn’t get more than a step, shooting down another agent who tried to lunge at her from the side, before a dark shape began to coalesce in front of her and she was firing frantically even before she saw the twin shotguns rising in her direction, her breath catching in her throat as she realised how close they were. She had seen what those guns could do up close, and there was no way for her to dodge or shield herself at this distance and despite all her training, she found herself closing her eyes in readiness for the pain to come, although her finger never left the trigger of her gun.

_Jack, please don’t give up on your stars…_

   There was a rush of air by her face, and she felt the sting a moment later, blood beginning to trickle down her cheek from where the bullet had grazed her, and she knew that the next would hit somewhere worse, bracing herself for it - only to let out a startled yelp as she found herself being tackled to the side. Caught by surprise, she felt her gun flying from her grip and cursed. How many times had she sparred with Jack and the others, how many times had McCree drilled into her head to always hold onto her weapon? She was winded, coughing as she opened her eyes to find Jack already staggering back to his feet, pulse rifle gripped tightly, and she desperately wished that he wasn’t wearing his mask so that she could see what his expression was showing.

“Jack…” _Thank you._

  He didn’t reply, visor coming to life as he whirled around to face Reaper and she found her hand closing on empty air as she reached out to grab him, only to find him lunging forward, no trace of his usual caution to be seen. _Jack…_

   Frantically she clawed at the band on her wrist, almost crying with relief when the light flickered on a second later, and the comforting form of her mech dropped down behind her. She didn’t think she had ever moved so quickly as she scrambled back into the cockpit, not even bothering to retrieve her handgun before whirling around ready to support Jack. She had barely moved her hands down to the controls when she heard Reaper’s voice carrying clearly over the sound of the battle, and she froze, heart hammering in her chest as the air in front of her was lit up by the muzzle flash from his guns as he spun around. His almost gleeful shouts of ‘Die’ pounded through her head, his mask seeming to twist in a malicious grin as he turned in her direction and she could do nothing, unable to move even to throw up her barrier, her gaze fixated on Jack whose charge had carried him too close.

   Someone was screaming, the sound rising above the sound of gunfire and shouts of Talon and Overwatch agents alike and it took her a moment to realise that the sound was coming from her, a cry that was half Jack’s name and half denial that tapered off as she realised that he was falling. That his legs were crumpling beneath him as though someone had cut his strings, and it was the sight of the pulse rifle falling from his hands that launched her into her action, tears blurring her vision.

“Cover me!” She shouted into the communicator, not bothering to wait for a reply as she hit the thrusters, aiming straight for Reaper who was closing in on Jack again. Fury. Loathing. Stronger than she had felt in a long time. Akin to the hatred she had felt for the Omnics that had destroyed her home welling up at the thought that even now he was seeking to hurt Jack more, and there was no hesitation whatsoever as she hit self-destruct. The momentum from the thrusters carried the mech forward, bearing down on Reaper and forcing him backwards and through the wall of a warehouse before it went up in a deafening explosion that rocked the ground around her. She knew that it wouldn’t be enough to kill him, cursing him for being so strong but it would take him a while to regroup and that was all she needed, already pushing him from her mind as she ran for Jack.

   She had expected – hoped, that he would be there already stubbornly trying to push himself to his feet, but instead he was laid where he had fallen, arm outstretched towards his rifle as though he had tried and failed to grasp it. There was a sick feeling in her stomach at that realisation, one that only grew as she flung herself to her knees by his side and got a good look at the damage. That close to Reaper there had been nothing to shield him from the force of his attack, his armour hadn’t stood a chance, and she sobbed, bile rising in the back of her throat as she realised what the dampness beneath her knees was.

“No. No…nononoo,” she was crying, desperate denials falling from her lips as she hovered over him, wanting to reach for him but terrified that she might hurt him more. Terror of a different kind gripping her when there was no visible reaction to her presence. “Jack, come on.” She was beginning, heaving sobs wracking her as she leant over him. “Jack! JACK!”

“H-Hana…”

   She half thought that she had imagined it, but then he was moving, a feeble shift to the side as he tilted his head towards her and she shuddered, fighting back another sob. _He’s alive_ …

“Yeah, it’s me,” she whispered, finally daring to reach out and fumbling with the clasps on his mask, wanting, no, needing to see his face. She almost wished she hadn’t as she saw the pain in his eyes, pain that even his stubbornness couldn’t hide and the way he struggled to focus on her for a minute before his gaze seemed to wander off, and shaking she reached out to tap his cheek to draw his attention back to her. “Jack, look at me…” Her voice wavered, and she took a deep breath as she saw him struggling to keep his eyes open let alone focused on her, realising that she needed to be the strong one this time, the stubborn one. “Help’s coming, so you just have to hold on.” Lucio was there, music shifting to the soothing beats for healing and a moment later Winston’s barrier dropped over them, the blue glow making Jack look worse than ever as he blinked sluggishly, eyes slipping shut for a moment before he forced them open, this time focusing on her with an intensity that scared her.

“Hana…?”

“I’m still here,” she reassured him, cautiously reaching out so that she could ease his head into her lap, whispering her thanks when Lucio moved to help her make him more comfortable, her fingers seeking out the silvery hair.

“F-F…” Jack was clutching at her now, struggling to get the words out and she was only vaguely aware of Lucio’s anguished face as he realised that his music wasn’t going to be enough this time and Winston’s voice in the background as he yelled for Angela. Instead, her attention was riveted on his face, on the pain twisting his features now as he gasped, his breath catching for a moment, and the acceptance that she could creeping into his gaze as he trailed off wheezing, blood specks on his lips as he forced himself to continue a moment later. “F-forget the s-stars.”

“No!” It came out louder than she intended, and she knew that everyone would be listening now, but she couldn’t bring herself to care, shaking him when she realised his eyes were threatening to close, waiting for him to focus on her once more before continuing in a trembling whisper. “You’re coming home with me! You’re going to rest up, and then we’re going to finish them together!” _I don’t care what Angela said, you can come back from this. You have to come back from this_. She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head from side to side when he sighed, his voice heavy as he whispered her name.

“Hana…”

“No,” she choked out, refusing to let him say the words, knowing that if he did, then it would become too real. “Please….” Jack was quiet, rasping breaths and a soft moan that he couldn’t hold back the only sound in the space that had opened up around them, but it was the way that he was watching her, eyes soft and expression tinged with sorrow and regret that broke her. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry!” She would have continued, the apologies spilling out between heaving sobs as she cradled him close, but he was moving, reaching up to brush his fingers against her cheek. The touch was feather light, the same gentleness he always used with the stars, and she froze, blinking back tears as she met his gaze, stunned when his lips curled up into a tiny smile.

“T-Thank you,” he murmured, eyes slipping shut and she lunged to catch his hand as it fell away from her cheek, cradling it against her chest. “T-thank…”

“Jack?” Her voice cracked. She didn’t need the silence around them to know what was happening, but there was no way that could true…there was no way he could…she shook her head, fresh tears cascading down her cheeks as she released her hold on his hand, so she could lean down and tap his face, adamantly refusing to look at the almost peaceful smile on his face. “JACK!” There was no reply, and she could feel the reality pressing in on her, her breath catching as she shoved it away, refusing to let it in as she fell against him, wrapping her arms around him. “Jack! JACK! JACK ANSWER ME!”

*

He hadn’t answered her.

   She wasn’t sure who had eventually pulled her away, just that she had screamed at them and fought to get back to his side, only stilling when Angela had appeared, waiting and watching with desperate eyes. Waiting for that golden stream to engulf him. Waiting for a miracle. It hadn’t come. She had seen the moment that Angela’s composure had crumpled, tears on her cheeks and she had shattered.

_Jack…_

****

_Forget the stars._

Fold. Turnover. Fold.

   She wished that it was that easy as she continued to work, fingers trembling as she shaped each star before dropping them into the jar on the ground beside her before reaching out to mark it off on the notepad next to it. Numbly she stared at the markings, at the proof that her goal was in sight before slowly reaching out for another piece of paper and automatically starting to shape it.

_Forget the stars._

   Jack’s voice echoed through her mind as it always did whenever she came out here to work on the stars, and for a moment she faltered. _I can’t_ , she replied silently, not daring to look up as she slowly resumed her work.

   It had been six months since that day. Six months since Jack had whispered to her to forget about the stars. Six months since he had thanked her, and six months since she had begged him to answer, only for him to slip away and leave her with nothing but those words constantly replaying through her mind, and she felt the familiar sting of tears as she stared down at the star taking shape in her fingers. At first, she had nearly heeded his command to forget about them, unable to even imagine making stars without him. And the first time she had tried she had flung it away from her and burst into tears, because she had been waiting for his voice, his grumbling when the paper didn’t obey his commands, and there had only been silence. After that the half-finished jars which had been retrieved from his room lay on her desk, untouched for weeks on end even as she spent hours just staring at them. They were his stars -how could she even consider finishing them without him? How could she pass on the message he had been so desperate to deliver when it had been Reaper who had taken him away?

   Ironically it had been Reaper himself who had given her back her purpose. Winston had kept her off missions for weeks afterwards, but then Talon had gone after the new God Program again, and there had been no choice but to put them all in the field again.  Jack’s absence more keenly felt than ever as the briefing passed in stiff silence without his gruff orders and advice and she had nearly walked out there and then. What had been worse was that she’d remembered what he had said about his purpose, and she realised that part of her purpose had been to fight with him, to make him proud and with that gone, and with the guilt that gnawed at her whenever she passed his room or the couch where they spent long nights watching movies and playing games, it was harder than she had ever imagined possible to climb into her mech.

    Reaper had been there, and he had been odd. Ana and the others had extracted a promise from her before the mission that she wouldn’t try and get revenge, and she had promised. Unable to forget what had happened the last time she had rushed off, but it had been hard to remember her promise when she saw him out of the corner of her eye, but she had stayed, hugging the payload so closely that she might as well have become part of it. Yet through it all she watched him, and that was how she had realised that he wasn’t attacking them with a purpose like before, instead he almost seemed to be aiming at everything but them, and it was when she saw him bypassing a dead agent without pausing to feed as he normally would that she realised he wasn’t trying to fight them at all. Instead, he seemed to be looking for something, or rather someone, his form becoming increasingly distorted as time went on and to this day she didn’t know what had prompted her to move towards him, waiting for his attention to shift to her and trying not to recoil as the last time they had fought flashed through her mind. _Jack…_

   She had screamed at him them, her emotions getting the better of her – shouting to him and the whole world that Jack was gone. That he was dead. That it was their fault…

   She wasn’t sure what she had expected, but it hadn’t been for Reaper to fall apart in front of her eyes, an eerie wailing cry flooding the area as the mist seeped away. It had been in that moment, she had realised that somewhere deep down he did still care, and that Jack had realised as much.

   The night after they had returned to base she had found herself back in the rec room where Jack had first opened up to her about Gabriel, several sheets of paper in her hand and a half-finished jar sat on the table in front of her. With trembling hands, she had set to work, closing her eyes as for the first time in months she let herself remember his words from back then, remembering the fondness as he spoke about his first meeting with Gabe and the practical jokes they had played on one another for months on end. When she finally opened her eyes, there were tears on her cheeks and there in her hands lay the wonkiest star she had ever made, and a strained giggle had escaped. _And you thought your early attempts were bad_. She was about to drop it on the floor, an abandoned reject when she paused, remembering how she had insisted that even his poor early attempts be added to her own jar, and slowly she reached out and dropped the star into the box.

 _Six thousand, two hundred and thirty-one_ …

   The next star came easier, and the next, but never with the easiness that she had felt when Jack was there, the tally slowly creeping up. The others had offered to help when she had finally explained what she was doing, and what Jack had been trying to do, but she had refused. She’d promised Jack that she would help him, it was a promise that she needed to keep, and so they had backed off, but she would find little bundles of paper sat on her desk, or next to her place at breakfast and she knew that it was their way of supporting her. And so, the stars continued to grow, until she had filled another jar and another, this time with little bits of their Overwatch family interwoven.

   Now she took a shuddering breath as she finished the final fold, blinking back tears as she stared down at the perfect pale blue star lying in her palm. It reminded her of Jack’s eyes, the light in them when he had smiled at her, and she lifted it to her lips for a second, her voice joining Jack’s.

_Thank you…_

“We did it, Jack!” She said aloud, trying to smile as she lifted her head, holding out the final star to the stone in front of her, eyes tracing his carved name before gently letting the star to fall from her hand and into the jar. “Ten thousand paper stars.” The weak attempt at a smile from her lips as she stared at the stone in front of her, vision blurring as the tears started to fall again.

_Ten thousand stars…_

      She closed her eyes, wishing that he was still here, that he could be the one to deliver the message that she knew he had been carrying around for far too long. But these weren’t her stars to wish on, and she dashed her hand across her eyes before slowly rising to her feet, eyes darting between the jars of stars arrayed around her before moving to the watch on her wrist just as she felt a shiver run down her spine and she instantly whirled around.

_He came._

   She almost wished that she had brought her gun as Reaper’s form slowly coalesced a short distance away and she couldn’t help but take a half-step back, moving to shield Jack’s grave from the piercing gaze. It had taken her weeks to contact him, not helped by the fact that this part of what she was doing had to be hidden from the others as she had known that there was no way they would have let her come alone, and this was something she had to do with her own two hands. In the end, she had managed to contact Sombra through her online forums, begging her to pass on the location and time, and praying that she would go through with it. She must have because here he was, his weapons nowhere to be seen, whilst his body seemed to be a constant state of flux as he took in where they were here.

“Why am I here?” It was hard not to flinch at his voice. Harder still not to dwell on the last time she had heard it and her hands clenched into fists at her side, before slowly she forced herself to reach up and touch the dog tags that now hung around her neck. _This is for Jack_. She studied Reaper for a minute, unable to see the man from the stories that Jack had shared with her and it took her a moment to get her voice to work.

“Jack left you a message,” her voice was trembling, tears beginning to fall again as she realised that this was it - that once this was done she had lost another bit of her purpose, and she faltered, hand tightening around the dog tag hanging against her chest _. Thank you_ , Jack’s voice echoed through her mind again, and she sighed before stepping aside, her hand trembling as she gestured to the jars of stars - to Jack’s stars. Closing her eyes, as she remembered how he had looked the night he had come to her and asked if he could make ten thousand paper stars. _Not alone_. Her reply mocked her now, and she had never felt so alone as she saw Reaper shifting uneasily before taking a step forward, more and more mist rising from him as his gaze roved over the stars and then to the grave and back again, before focusing on her. She wanted to chase him away, to keep him away from her Jack but instead, she stepped away, although her voice was harsher than intended as she passed him. “You should look up their meaning,”

   There was no reply, not that she had really been expecting one and reluctantly she forced herself to keep walking. This was between them, between Jack and his fallen star, and yet before she started the descent down towards the gate she couldn’t help but glance back, her breath catching as she saw Reaper falling to his knees in front of the grave as the strange mist that made up his body whirled around him. And inside the mist a sobbing laugh bubbled up as she watched the stars take flight, swirling around Reaper in a seemingly endless dance, her sharp eyes catching the way that Reaper. Or maybe it was Gabriel reached out to caress them as they brushed against him, before suddenly the mist and stars burst skywards, leaving in their wake a lonely grave and a huddled figure that looked more human than she had ever seen him.

_It’s beautiful Jack…_

****

Three months later:

   Hana shivered as she made her way up the familiar path towards Jack’s grave, huddling back into the jacket she was wearing, the battered leather heavy on her shoulders although it seemed to be doing little to keep the chill at bay. The three months since she had last visited - since the day she had finished their stars and made sure that Jack’s last message had been received had passed slowly, the base feeling emptier before and she still checked the door whenever she got home, half expecting to find stars hanging from the handle.

   She hadn’t made a star since that last visit, unable to bring herself to make another no matter how often she sat down with the paper in front of her. Every time she tried all she could see was Jack sat beside her, squinting through his glasses as he worked on his own star, raspy voice filling the silence between them and she had a feeling that the jar on her desk would remain half-filled for a long time. It had been Mei who had helped, starting to teach her how to make other shapes, ones that didn’t come with memories of Jack and she couldn’t help but check the bunch of origami flowers she was cradling protectively against herself. They were all slightly wonky, her lips quirking up slightly as she remembered Jack’s first attempts at making stars, but they were unmistakeably flowers and whilst she knew that they wouldn’t last long outside, she wanted him to see what she had made. To show him that she was moving forward, even if it was only with baby steps.

   Jack’s grave was in sight now, and she sighed as she saw the dying flowers in the vase at the front, feeling guilty for not coming by soon and angry that no one else seemed to have visited in her absence although she knew that they had been just as busy as she had. The Petras Act was being examined again, and there was the talk of the New Overwatch being allowed an official remit, and with that had come endless meetings, public hearings. At the same time, they had continued to act, trying their best to keep Talon and similar groups under control. But it was a step in the right direction.

_And he should have been here to see it…_

   Ana had commented that he would be happier knowing that it was happening without him, but Hana couldn’t help but wish that he could see what he had helped to rebuild, remembering the guilt in his voice when he had spoken about his mistakes and what he should have done.

   Blinking she was startled to realise that she had reached her destination whilst lost in her thoughts, swallowing to try and get her voice to work as she stared at the simple stone, eyes blankly tracing the Overwatch insignia carved in the stone as she fought to get the words to come. “Hey Jack, I’m sorry it’s…” She trailed off, mouth suddenly dry as she spotted the lonely paper star nestled at the base of the stone. It was undamaged by the rain that had fallen the night before which meant that it was new, and she couldn’t help but look around before crouching down and reaching out with trembling fingers. She didn’t move it, just traced the shape - it was wonky as though the creator was new to it and made from plain black paper and she closed her eyes as she felt tears beginning to spill down her cheeks. “Jack…”

 _It looks like he heard your words_ …


End file.
